Have you ever heard of a ‘situationship’? You, like I and other college students, most probably have. Over the past few years, ‘Gen Z’ has redefined the concept of a romantic relationship. But how exactly, if at all, did Gen Z come to struggle with navigating one? 

Gen Z, romance & relationships 

To start off, the term ‘Gen Z’ describes individuals born between 1997 and 2012. With us students having been born near the later stages of that time, we grew up experiencing the rapid development of technology and social media. Hence, it has transformed our lives and completely set us apart from previous generations. In particular, social media has allowed all different types of people to talk to each other, connect and establish bonds. Saira Nauman, a teacher of Psychology here at Xaverian explains that, “Gen Z have more digital intimacy than previous generations. The option of ‘digital dating’ has meant that, “Gen Z tend to have more open relationships, both platonic and romantic and whilst being more aware of emotional intimacy”. Our generation has been accredited with inventing new terms and dynamics for romantic relationships, such as “talking stages” or “red flags”. This is on the complete opposite side of the spectrum as to how relationship dynamics of previous generations are understood to be/have been. Eliza Vicente, a journalist at CNN says that this idea of attaching restrictive labels to a relationship, in an attempt to ease ourselves into them, is potentially out of fear of being hurt and the need to self-preserve, particularly after redefining events such as the COVID-19 pandemic. 

How has social media impacted relationships? 

Social media and technology have undeniably changed the way we build relationships in society. According to Pew Research: in 2015, around 24% of teens were using social media ‘constantly’ – now, that number has doubled. Statista reports that the daily average consumption of social media is almost 6 hours in the UK. It is no exaggeration to say that social media has consumed the lives of teenagers and reshaped how we behave and function in society. TikTok, Instagram and Snapchat have allowed us to talk to people from every corner of the world. It also lets us stay in touch with those we love, helping us spend time with them and understand them in new, exciting ways. This is a privilege particular to us teenagers as our lives get busier and busier. 

However, social media could also bring various negative externalities to Gen Z relationships. Social media has grown over us in such a way that it can distract us from our real-life responsibilities and relationships with family or our studies. This could lead to the skill of social, or even romantic, physical interaction being lost in tomorrow’s society as the idea of talking behind a screen gets so deeply integrated into our brain’s system. 

When it comes to romantic relationships, being subtly yet continuously exposed to a toxic, artificial lifestyle on social media can corrupt our views on our own relationships as we compare what we see on there to our own experiences. According to MyWellbeing, constantly consuming social media content can create a culture of instant gratification. It can create some sense of a dangerously unhealthy reliance on your partner for something so little as an instant text response to absolutely needing comfort in times of need. In situations like these, we fail to understand that our partner is also human – they have their own life, needs and cannot always be there for you. However, social media has helped dictate this false sense of how relationships should function and how intensely they should develop. When in reality, each relationship is unique, built on different circumstances and basing your own emotions on the external influences of social media onto your own relationship can often lead to unfavourable relationship circumstances. 

 My closing thoughts & what to take away 

I think that the most important message is to perhaps consume social media in moderation or to consume more positive, perhaps less relationship-oriented content. After all, comparison is the thief of joy; it is only you and your partner who should have a say in what foundations your relationship is built upon. But above all, don’t give up on your relationships so easily! The time taken to process any intense emotions, to then communicate, reconcile and forgive is a skill we will all need in the long run. But even then, we’re 16–18-year-olds with so much life yet to live – a relationship is not a must nor is it your salvation. Decide for yourself what brings you the purest happiness and how to sustain that to enjoy this time of your life the best you can, because it is going fast and once it is gone we will not be able to get it back.